My Bestie

So, tonight, I called one of my best friends, and he kind of dropped a big bombshell on me. He told me that he was thinking seriously about signing up with the Marines. He had been trying to get this Navy ROTC scholarship, and I was okay with that, because from my uninformed civilian mindset, the navy was fairly safe, and he would be in some kind of officer position and probably wouldn't be sent anywhere dangerous. I was getting used to that when he came and told me about this. He says he will still be an officer (so there's that), but that he would probably have to spend more time enlisted. For example, in one of the programs, he would serve until he was twenty (two years for him), go to school (all expenses paid) for four years, and then serve for another four years. I'm not sure how well I'm liking this. He's my bestie, we've been through a lot together, and I love him. So few people know me like he does, and I'm having such a hard time fathoming what's happening. I can't help it. . .I just keep thinking about what would happen if he got seriously hurt, or, much much worse, died. I don't want him to die now. I want us to be friends forever and to still be teasing each other and listening to Nirvana when we're in rocking chairs on the porch of old age. I can't imagine my life without him (or any of my best friends, for that matter). To me, it's one thing if people drift apart, because, while it's sad, there's always the possibility of becoming good friends with them again, and you know they'll always be there. If he's in the military, especially in the Marine Corps, the possibility that someone will take him away forever is a very real, daily thing I will be struggling with. I mean, yeah, I hate the idea that he wants to be a pilot and would probably be dropping bombs on people, like innocent men, women, and children, but worse to me is the idea that someone might drop one on him in return someday. I've heard President Obama wants to send something like between six and ten thousand troops into Afghanistan (or more), but we're not even done in Iraq, and who says that this venture in Afghanistan will ever bear fruit? How do we know that democracy can work? There are other ways than ours, and what if we shouldn't be imposing our path to freedom on them? I know we think this is the only way and try and hold up historical examples like Stalin and Castro and Chairman Mao to support our statements, but is that really true? Or do we say it because we're unsure, and it makes us feel better? You know, he said he wants to fight for his country, but do I want him to fight for our country? Am I willing to potentially sacrifice my best friend for something that may be a failure before it even begins? Maybe it won't, but this is my bestie. And if it's not my bestie, it's someone else's. It's someone's brother, sister, mother, father, cousin, aunt, uncle. friend, husband, wife, child, and the other side has just as many mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles and cousins and friends and spouses, and I guess I just don't understand. I'm trying to. I do support him because he's my friend and I'll always be on his side, I guess I just wish he wouldn't do stuff like this. You know, too, last semester, I had this one professor for my Civil War history class. He was in a wheelchair because he had no legs. He also had lots of old scars on his arms that we could still see. He was a Marine. As he put it, he had "one bad day in Vietnam". All I can think of when my friend tells me he wants to go into the Marine Corps is this image of him in a wheelchair with no legs. I'm sorry; I feel kind of selfish to want my friend to have all his limbs and to not be scarred physically or emotionally when there are so many people in much worse situations living their lives, but I can't help it. I will worry every day. I just can't help it.